The Return of Bruce (Again) Plus Smaller Children for Cramped NYC Spaces

Yes, Bruce is back, looking fit as a fiddle (what does that phrase mean anyway?) and ready for action.

I can't reveal my sources, but I have heard from a reliable source that Rags, Henry's father, has been going to Leroy Street dog run. Excuse me? We're not good enough? I think the problem may be Rag's teeth, which, due to CVS White Strips, have gotten so bright as to be absolutely blinding. I didn't have time to warn everybody to wear their strong UV sunglasses, maybe Rags was just doing us a favor and staying away?

I guess many of you saw the NY POST article on the Indian girl Jyoti Amge last week. She is 15 years old and 23 inches tall. She can basically fit inside her own backpack. (See photo above).

India is now working hard to develop this size for all Indian children, which will help with over-crowding in that country. Not to be slow on the latest trends, I got together with my scientists (they're really mired in the final stages of bringing out "I Can't Believe It's Not Tuna" but that's another story) and they immediately "got" that Very Small Children was a perfect match for New York City, and went right to work on it. Just think about it, a cramped one bedroom is suddenly transformed when your teenager can sleep in a large purse or a kitchen drawer!

Of course all of you who have spent the last 15 to 20 years raising Regular Size kids might feel we could have pursued this idea a little earlier, but please don't be resentful. Your own children will benefit from this when they can get these very small children for themselves in a few years. Maybe large families will even make a comeback in the good old U.S. of A, who knows? If 6 children can sleep in a bathtub, wow, why not?

Meanwhile little Jyoti is hoping to pursue a career in films in America soon, an idea that Bruce found more than a little disconcerting.

Sidney and I were photographed by New York magazine Wednesday and it will be out Monday. We had to fill out a long political survey, and when asked "Who would you like to answer the White House phone at 3 a.m., I gave the obvious answer: Iggy Pop.

On another note of shameless self-promotion, I made Reuters this week, quite by accident, I just happened to be checking out the new John Varvatos store at 315 Bowery, the original location of CBGBs:

http://uk.reuters.com/article/lifestyleMolt/idUKN0923189420080409

Speaking of tuna, did you read today that the U.S. is calling off ALL (or most) salmon harvesting this year? Only in parts of Oregon and Alaska will it be allowed. Wild salmon on the menu at Esca this year will be priced at $12,000! (hey, It comes with rice and vegetables). At Painters, Larry's restaurant in Bellport, salmon will be only $2,000 but only comes a la carte.

[On a serious note this salmon ban will put hundreds of fishermen out of work. California will seek 150 million is disaster aid. The cause? Climate driven change which has resulted in depriving baby salmon of food. Sorry, kids, but it's time to go vegan.]

Speaking of vegans, I went to Momofuku Noodle Bar this week to see David Chang's new space at 11th Street and 1st Avenue. He really hates vegetarians! He probably would physically eject a vegan from his gorgeous new space if he could. I kept my mouth shut and ordered. Chang's one vegetarian concession on the menu is a ginger scallion "ramen" that has no broth! (Broth = Pork). He offers five beers, only one of which I had heard of - Budweiser. The Momofuki house sake is $7 but all the other sakes are $20 and up - by the glass! That Chang is one crazy dude, wonder how long his bubble will last? As long as people want to eat lovable, intelligent creatures called pigs - unfortunately, a long time.

I've been a "vegetarian" for 40 years, but I do eat fish on occasion and I don't have any moral judgements about meatarians. But a lot of the issue has to do with sustaining the planet, and that goes beyond feeling all sad about little piggies dying for a pork bun.

On the other hand, I read a story in the Times awhile back about a woman who raised piglets for food and she totally bonded with them (they're on the same intelligence level as dogs, if not smarter) and then she led them into the slaughter house and they followed her with total trust, just they way your dog would....

Those who want to read about why meat is bad for the planet, read this by Mark Bittman:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/27/weekinreview/27bittman.html?scp=19&sq=raising+pigs&st=nyt

As for how pigs are treated in this country? From the New York Times:

Of the 60 million pigs in the United States, over 95 percent are continuously confined in metal buildings, including the almost five million sows in crates. In such setups, feed is automatically delivered to animals who are forced to urinate and defecate where they eat and sleep. Their waste festers in large pits a few feet below their hooves. Intense ammonia and hydrogen sulfide fumes from these pits fill pigs’ lungs and sensitive nostrils. No straw is provided to the animals because that would gum up the works (as it would if you tossed straw into your toilet).

The pigs were crowded into pens and cages, never allowed outdoors, and never even provided a soft place to lie down. Their tails had been cut off without anesthetic. Regardless of how well the operations are managed, the pigs subsist in inherently hostile settings.

The stress, crowding and contamination inside confinement buildings foster disease, especially respiratory illnesses. In addition to toxic fumes, bacteria, yeast and molds have been recorded in swine buildings at a level more than 1,000 times higher than in normal air. To prevent disease outbreaks (and to stimulate faster growth), the hog industry adds more than 10 million pounds of antibiotics to its feed, the Union of Concerned Scientists estimates. This mountain of drugs — a staggering three times more than all antibiotics used to treat human illnesses — is a grim yardstick of the wretchedness of these facilities.

Sorry to get so serious, I think I just lost my sense of humor. Forever.

Signing off,

Sidney and Roberta