Someone New for Larry to be Jealous Of

Forget Outsiders, Larry has fresh competition. Check it out on You Tube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LHoyB81LnE

Meanwhile after finishing her book, Kim began researching an article about Time Travel for PAPER. She got into a Time Travel Machine and went back to 1994:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Em_Byjv4Dvo

She's still there for a little while longer but I got a card from her asking me please not to tell Ted Muehling about those earrings!

Good news: I finally called the number on the lost dog poster that has been in the run for several weeks. Seems the yellow lab Georgia was returned three days after she disappeared. Larry collected the entire $1000, cutting me out completely.

And so it goes.

Sidney and Roberta

The Return of Bruce (Again) Plus Smaller Children for Cramped NYC Spaces

Yes, Bruce is back, looking fit as a fiddle (what does that phrase mean anyway?) and ready for action.

I can't reveal my sources, but I have heard from a reliable source that Rags, Henry's father, has been going to Leroy Street dog run. Excuse me? We're not good enough? I think the problem may be Rag's teeth, which, due to CVS White Strips, have gotten so bright as to be absolutely blinding. I didn't have time to warn everybody to wear their strong UV sunglasses, maybe Rags was just doing us a favor and staying away?

I guess many of you saw the NY POST article on the Indian girl Jyoti Amge last week. She is 15 years old and 23 inches tall. She can basically fit inside her own backpack. (See photo above).

India is now working hard to develop this size for all Indian children, which will help with over-crowding in that country. Not to be slow on the latest trends, I got together with my scientists (they're really mired in the final stages of bringing out "I Can't Believe It's Not Tuna" but that's another story) and they immediately "got" that Very Small Children was a perfect match for New York City, and went right to work on it. Just think about it, a cramped one bedroom is suddenly transformed when your teenager can sleep in a large purse or a kitchen drawer!

Of course all of you who have spent the last 15 to 20 years raising Regular Size kids might feel we could have pursued this idea a little earlier, but please don't be resentful. Your own children will benefit from this when they can get these very small children for themselves in a few years. Maybe large families will even make a comeback in the good old U.S. of A, who knows? If 6 children can sleep in a bathtub, wow, why not?

Meanwhile little Jyoti is hoping to pursue a career in films in America soon, an idea that Bruce found more than a little disconcerting.

Sidney and I were photographed by New York magazine Wednesday and it will be out Monday. We had to fill out a long political survey, and when asked "Who would you like to answer the White House phone at 3 a.m., I gave the obvious answer: Iggy Pop.

On another note of shameless self-promotion, I made Reuters this week, quite by accident, I just happened to be checking out the new John Varvatos store at 315 Bowery, the original location of CBGBs:

http://uk.reuters.com/article/lifestyleMolt/idUKN0923189420080409

Speaking of tuna, did you read today that the U.S. is calling off ALL (or most) salmon harvesting this year? Only in parts of Oregon and Alaska will it be allowed. Wild salmon on the menu at Esca this year will be priced at $12,000! (hey, It comes with rice and vegetables). At Painters, Larry's restaurant in Bellport, salmon will be only $2,000 but only comes a la carte.

[On a serious note this salmon ban will put hundreds of fishermen out of work. California will seek 150 million is disaster aid. The cause? Climate driven change which has resulted in depriving baby salmon of food. Sorry, kids, but it's time to go vegan.]

Speaking of vegans, I went to Momofuku Noodle Bar this week to see David Chang's new space at 11th Street and 1st Avenue. He really hates vegetarians! He probably would physically eject a vegan from his gorgeous new space if he could. I kept my mouth shut and ordered. Chang's one vegetarian concession on the menu is a ginger scallion "ramen" that has no broth! (Broth = Pork). He offers five beers, only one of which I had heard of - Budweiser. The Momofuki house sake is $7 but all the other sakes are $20 and up - by the glass! That Chang is one crazy dude, wonder how long his bubble will last? As long as people want to eat lovable, intelligent creatures called pigs - unfortunately, a long time.

I've been a "vegetarian" for 40 years, but I do eat fish on occasion and I don't have any moral judgements about meatarians. But a lot of the issue has to do with sustaining the planet, and that goes beyond feeling all sad about little piggies dying for a pork bun.

On the other hand, I read a story in the Times awhile back about a woman who raised piglets for food and she totally bonded with them (they're on the same intelligence level as dogs, if not smarter) and then she led them into the slaughter house and they followed her with total trust, just they way your dog would....

Those who want to read about why meat is bad for the planet, read this by Mark Bittman:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/27/weekinreview/27bittman.html?scp=19&sq=raising+pigs&st=nyt

As for how pigs are treated in this country? From the New York Times:

Of the 60 million pigs in the United States, over 95 percent are continuously confined in metal buildings, including the almost five million sows in crates. In such setups, feed is automatically delivered to animals who are forced to urinate and defecate where they eat and sleep. Their waste festers in large pits a few feet below their hooves. Intense ammonia and hydrogen sulfide fumes from these pits fill pigs’ lungs and sensitive nostrils. No straw is provided to the animals because that would gum up the works (as it would if you tossed straw into your toilet).

The pigs were crowded into pens and cages, never allowed outdoors, and never even provided a soft place to lie down. Their tails had been cut off without anesthetic. Regardless of how well the operations are managed, the pigs subsist in inherently hostile settings.

The stress, crowding and contamination inside confinement buildings foster disease, especially respiratory illnesses. In addition to toxic fumes, bacteria, yeast and molds have been recorded in swine buildings at a level more than 1,000 times higher than in normal air. To prevent disease outbreaks (and to stimulate faster growth), the hog industry adds more than 10 million pounds of antibiotics to its feed, the Union of Concerned Scientists estimates. This mountain of drugs — a staggering three times more than all antibiotics used to treat human illnesses — is a grim yardstick of the wretchedness of these facilities.

Sorry to get so serious, I think I just lost my sense of humor. Forever.

Signing off,

Sidney and Roberta

Where is the Spring?

We have all been waiting a long time for Spring, haven't we? Saturday there was a glimpse, Sunday was gloomy. I don't mind a gloomy day, but in April?

I saw a great show on Friday at the Phillips de Pury Gallery at 450 W. 15th Street (at 10th Avenue). (Rags said I should just refer to it as Phillips, but he's an Art Insider). It's only on till Wednesday so get on over there pronto.

http://www.phillipsdepury.com/

It includes Diane Arbus's special unseen photos from Hubert's Museum in Times Square, home of freaks, sword swallowers, half man half woman (Albert/Alberta), midgets and a real flea circus. Lots of Hubert's memorabilia is on view as well. Hubert's closed before I came to NYC, one of my big regrets. (My friend Nick Tosches went there when he was 14 years old to buy a fake moustache so he could get into his first Sophia Loren movie without adult accompaniment.) There is also a letter from Diane on view where she describes seeing her first geek.

The show includes nearly every great photographer of the last 100 years, except me and Doug Bruce. The auction is on Wednesday night I believe. Go see this show!

What's Kim been up to you might well ask? Mornings she can be found racing uptown in a taxi while the Indian cabbie screams at his brother in Mumbai on his cellphone while Kim receives text messages from her nephew in Peru while watching a chef on the small embedded TV screen give a lesson in how to make foccacia when her dog walker texts to report on Romeo's latest bowel movement but is interupted by her Sidekick with a message from her friend in Lagos, Nigeria while meanwhile with her left foot she is putting the finishing touches on her book about designer Geoffrey Beene, and at the same time closing the next issue of PAPER, the Design issue. And she hasn't even arrived at work. Whew!

(You can subscribe to PAPER for a mere $9.97 a year which gets you TWO subscriptions, one for you and one for a friend, go to papermag.com, I recommend it.)

A rare tape has surfaced of Johnny Thunders of the New York Dolls, singing at his high school in the late 60s:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6S-7Ap6J_FU

Later Johnny would appear at the Limelight nightclub with Michael Musto:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-saUheBlMM

I'm not sure how saddened we were at the passing of Charlton Heston, but then we remembered "Touch of Evil", "Planet of the Apes" and "Ben Hur" and we almost forgot about all that gun business. Who can harbor animosity towards a guy who cures lepers? Oh I forgot, that was Jesus. Oh well. Good-by, funnyman!

See you at the run!

XO

Sidney & Roberta

Sodomy at the Dog Run - No one is safe

Yes, it's true. Little Ethan Schwab, well dressed (yet never provocatively so), only son of Claudia, was brutally sodomized Saturday by an unknown black and white canine assailant. Ms. Scwhab stepped in immediately to stop the attack, but it was too late. Luckily Ethan was more shaken than stirred, no obvious penetration occurred (although Bacitracin was applied to the appropriate area), and Sunday he seemed to be in good spirits.

Meanwhile we have some excellent high end FREE entertainment coming up this week in the form of memorial services for two iconic New Yorkers. The William F. Buckley Memorial at St,. Patricks Cathedral

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/06/nyregion/06buckley.html?_r=1&ref=media&oref=slogin

and the Norman Mailer Memorial at Carnegie Hall

http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2008/03/28/arts/NA-A-E-BKS-US-Norman-Mailer-Memorial.php

Both are open to the public, though for Mr. Mailer's you must stand in line for tickets, presumably because the former Mr. Madonna, drunken beater of photographers and informal and unwanted U.S. Ambassador to the Middle East will be speaking. Along with (oh, wow) Tina Brown. The host? Charlie Rose. I guess Legs McNeil was unavailable.

Hold me back. Dullsville Incorporated.

Now I met Mr. Mailer some years ago (1979 to be precise) at his home in Brooklyn heights and took his photograph (which I have yet to make a dime on) and I have to say, he seemed to be somewhat of a zombie (that happens when you foolishly give up alcohol in your 70s - why bother?) However, he did go onto write several very long books, I think one was about Egypt and another about God (or maybe it was Hitler?) which I challenge any of you to say you have read. (I'm not talking about your having read the review in the New York Times Book Review, I'm talking about the actual BOOK. Even I almost finished reading the reviews.) I tried reading the Gary Gilmore book in the 70s, couldn't finish it. "Bonfire of the Vanities"? Same. I know, Mailer didn't write that, but I think you see my point.

Mr. Buckley, on the other hand, while I did not agree with his enthusiasm for bringing back slavery (think about it, did he ever say WHO would be the slaves? Did he? Case closed) or that women should be thankful they got the vote and be done with the rest of all that liberation stuff (and to his credit look where it's gotten us), it's true that Mr. Bill gave us many hours of entertainment on his television show. He was entertaining even when we did not agree with him, beguiling in an elegant, reptilian sort of way. And with Big Words. Now, That's Entertainment. Unlike Bill O'Reilly and his ilk who are just bullies and bores. I definitely do think Billy's Memorial will be the more entertaining memorial of the two. You don't have to wait in line for tickets and you won't be worried than Sean Penn might mistake you for an 80s pop star and marry you (he is single now you know) or for a photographer and knock your block off.

See you at St. Pat's. Even Jesus might be there.

Peace, Love and Bathroom Renovation,

Sidney & Roberta

Art, Money, Sex and Dogs - is there anything else?

This week I Saw Art. Laura and I (sans Billie and Sidney) went to the Museum of Arts and Design (on 53rd Street across from MOMA) and saw a fantastic show called "Pricked: Extreme Embroidery". It runs through April 27th. Don't miss it, it's absolutely fabulous!

Then we went to Pulse! and were underwhelmed, though we loved seeing lots of Morton Barlett's doll photos and one very interesting artist named Santiago Rubino

http://www.re-title.com/artists/SANTIAGO-RUBINO.asp

who does interesting detailed drawings of women and dogs (not together). Reminded us a little of Walter Keane mixed with Edward Gorey. Some people feel he has appropriated the style (and presentation in old frames) of Mark Ryden

http://www.markryden.com/paintings/index.html

but we liked his dog drawings so much we don't care. Laura hopes he will draw Billie!

Larry and I have been trying to think up new ways to make money without working. We thought of entering the contest to name the Glatt Kosher Falafel Restaurant on Third Avenue ($3000 prize) but realized it took too much work. Besides the last contest that restaurant ran ended up giving the prize to the person who named it "Chickpea", not exactly a name worthy of our level of genius and creativity, especially for a measley 3K. Seeing all those $1000 reward posters for lost dogs around town, we tossed around an idea about a Dog Kidnapping Service venture, but ultimately decided some people at the run might find it offensive. Look, we were going to treat the dogs we kidnapped really well while we had them, it would basically be like a spa vacation for the dog. And think how extremely happy and relieved the owners would be when we returned Fluffy to their empty arms? That's a feeling you can't really put a price on. Come to think of it, maybe it's not off the table entirely.

After seeing the Morton Bartlett show a friend gave me a good idea. What about creating a FAKE "outsider artist"? When Bartlett died, he had no heirs and his dolls and negatives ended up in a flea market where they were discovered and purchased by an art dealer. Or were they? Whose to know where they came from? Barlett's photos are now selling for $14,000 and up - A good enough reason to fabricate the whole damn story, don't you think? I mean if a young white middle class women can get $300,000 for writing a memoir of her life as a Crip, why can't this idea work? When I work out the details I'll let you know. Meanwhile don't tell anybody.

Ken told us something Really Creepy and we think it may well be true, though we're waiting for confirmation from Trishika. In order to get your photo published it the Weddings section of the Times, the bride and groom's eyes have to be perfectly aligned. Taking a look at today's Times it looks pretty true to me! Sometimes the eyes were even aligned on a slant. Weird. We've gotta get the story on this, Trish, please let us know.

And speaking of the Times, I must say that the article in the Magazine "College Kids Who Opt Out of Sex" made me feel Totally Disconnected From Reality. I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with not having sex before you're married (well I actually do think that's wrong but I'll just suspend my judgment for a moment) but why would you have to join an ORGANIZATION such as True Love Revolution (Harvard) and the Anscombe Society (Princeton) and make pledges and have support meetings? One "stalwart soldier" of the abstinence wars, Leo Keihler is pictured in his bedroom. Just look at him. Don't try to tell me he's not one step away from being a child molester or serial killer. Just read the article if you can bear it, and tell me there's something really disturbing about it. Or maybe it's just me.

Here we have a nice example of a (very) obiedient dog:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2BfzUIBy9A
See you in the run!
Sidney & Roberta

Spring is here, I hear...

Why doesn't my heart go dancing? (For those vast numbers of you who are "young" , this is a reference to a Rogers & Hart song which I first heard at the tender age of 8 on my mother's copy of Frank Sinatra's album "Frank Sinatra Sings For Only The Lonely". Like you care).

Anyway, Easter came and went with nary an appearance of significant numbers. Rags and James took pity on me and came by to ask me to sing songs from "Hair" of which I knew none. All of the songs I thought were from "Hair" were from "Jesus Christ Superstar". Where is Dr. Bob when you need him? I never saw either of these shows, although I did have sex with the actor who played Jesus in the "Jesus Christ Superstar" movie, Teddy Neely. He was HOT.

Then Rags wanted me to sing "I Will Always Love You" which he called a "Whitney Houston song". Not. It is a Dolly Parton song. And Rags calls himself a gay - ha! And then when I proceeded to sing the chorus of said song, I was reprimanded that it wasn't the song! Okay so I'm no Celine Dion with a 18 octave range, but I know my Dolly Parton. Luckily as we were leaving, who should arrive but an ACTUAL singer: Jamie Leonhart, possessor of multiple octaves, an artist with many CDs and sold out shows at Joe's Pub. Not only did Jamie sing the chorus of the song, she knew the VERSE. Major.

Monday was good. I had an idea for teaching everyone in the run Yiddish. My proposals is to take one word each day, have Larry (or another Jew) define it, and then we would go around in a circle and each if us would use the word in a sentence.

Unfortunately the first word (chosen by Rags) was "moil" (moyle?). A moil is the Rabbi who performs circumcisions) (I can't even spell it, let alone condone it). Now, sorry, but to me this isn't a word that is going to come up much in everyday conversation. But what the hell, we tried. My sentence was "I don't think I'll have much use for a moil in my lifetime", which is true but doesn't really give a sense of the meaning of the word. While Berlin was chasing his tail (and catching it) John ventured a sentence, but I felt my whole idea was being ruined.

Then Rags suggested ungepachaka, which is like going over the top, laying it on too thick. Rags relates it to Ralph Lauren, he's ungepachaka apparently. As a goyim (that is probably ungrammatical) it was all too much for me. Larry and I discussed going to see Jackie Mason's "The Ultimate Jew" on Broaoday as a group and found tickets online for $38. There's an old folks matinee at 2 p.m. so I might actually be able to fit that in. We could go as a an educational group, maybe there's an extra discount for that? Anyway, we will be starting the Yiddish Acquisition Program in earnest when the weather's better. No need to register, no tuition. I figure by summer we'll all be speaking Yiddish.

Laura is back from Hawaii, in shock. Jessica has disappeared into her Uptown World for now. Beth (Dugan's mom) has a bad haircut and will be staying away for awhile. Ken and Hershey drop in as always before work. Claudia hold court as always, as she prepares for the Pulse Art fair. Bald Tango flits about, Zeus entices George into play just when Trish wants to leave. Riley, our young friend from Portland came back to NYC but then had to go to L.A. We hope he will be back.

That's all for now folks!

Sidney & Roberta

Where the hell is everybody? Saturday March 22, 2008

Sidney and I arrived at the run at 8 a.m. and by 9 a.m. we were still the only ones there. Did we miss the memo? Finally Sunny & Nene showed up, Nene wearing his own sophisticated take on the Burberry plaid craze of the 90s, you know, really putting his own spin on it. The Other Larry (Becky's dad) showed up briefly. And that was it. We did see one of the strangest dogs we know: Harley, a boxer pug mix. As Larry commented "He got the worst of each breed!". Weird. You had to see it. Really kind of sad in a way, though of course I'm sure the parents love him just as they would a "normal" dog.

Friday I went to lunch at Momofuku SSam Bar, the highly touted restaurant on 2nd Avenue and 13th Street. The restaurant's 26 year old chef David Chang is the subject of a long profile in this week's New Yorker. Chang is opening his third restaurant, Ko, any minute, his first being the wildly successful Momofuku Noodle Bar. I had one of the best food items here that I have ever eaten anywhere: Diver Sea Scallops from the raw bar with nori, pickled cherries, lemon and something I don't know what, it was so exquisite! I also had Fried Brussel Sprouts with chilies, mint and fish sauce, which had the moist concentrated garlic flavor I've ever tasted. As Rachel Ray would say: "De-lish!". Mainly they deal with pork - pork buns, country hams from 4 states, pork belly, pork sausage and whole pork butt (are you salivating yet, Bob & Larry?) but there are 5 choices on the Raw Bar, including Wild Striped Bass, Cured Hamachi, Beau Soliel Oysters and Jonah Crab Claws, and some chicken things. I was sure it would be packed, but at 3 p.m. it was half empty and filled with a casual group of semi-hipsters. The Ramones "Beat on the Brat" was on the sound system, which I took as an omen. It's not cheap (most dishes are between $12 & $17 for smallish portions) but the Lunch Boxes are $12 to $14 and are BIG. The sake, wine and beer lists are inspired. I almost went back there again today but stopped myself and put the money into my Bathroom Renovation Fund. (Donations accepted, tax deductible.)

Rags was deeply engrossed this week in the Eliot Spitzer coverage. He learned a new term: "Eating at the Y". Apparently in Hooker Land that particular act (a man performing 'oral' on a woman) is disallowed. Rags was mystified. I say it is because it is not the duty of the hooker to be expected to either experience pleasure or (god forbid) orgasm. To do so is to cede power. No kissing, no coming and no lunch at the Y. Sorry Eliot, you'll have to go back to Silda for that. Though somehow I suspect she may not be in the mood for it right now.

I saw the most marvelous documentary on John Waters on IFC last night called "Divine Trash". It was really lovely to have Waters describe Divine as his "Liz Taylor" (which she definitely was) and amazing to see his trajectory from stoned freak pot smoking maniac to mainstream Broadway Power Player. It's just a brilliant doc, don't miss it they always show those things a million times. I myself was honored to have several phone conversations with Divine's mother Mrs. Francis Milstead. You cannot imagine a mother more proud of her son's achievements. To me that shows there is a god.

And so we come upon the anniversary of the Resurrection of the Lord Baby Jesus Our Heavenly Saviour, we will be Happy and we will Eat. Even those among us who do not believe (myself included) or who believe with reservations, or are Jewish or who never even gave it a second thought beyond the Easter Bunny, I say eating, experiencing the pleasure of Momofuku, of sake, of fresh air (though we may not remember the last time we breathed it) of the first time we saw John Waters "Multiple Maniacs", of our dogs in all their wondrousness, I say all of this is more than enough reason to Rejoice.

And to sleep late tomorrow. Because I know none of you will be at the run anyway.

Hallelujah!

Sidney & Roberta

Eliot Who? The Return of Buttercup March 15, 2008

This has been a tumultuous week in New York politics. Trishiki (pronounced Tri-SHE-ki, Larry informs me (I had misspelled Trish's African name previously as Trishaca, sorry) was palpably discombobulated Tuesday morning, having followed the Spitzer story as it unfolded Monday night. George looked a little dumbfounded also. The shock becomes becomes a worse shock because somehow it's NOT a shock.

Eliot called me at home Tuesday night after a long soul searching meeting with Silda, and conveyed his apologies to Larry, who had ES pegged as the first Jewish President. Now that role must go to Mike Bloomberg, a dog owner with a classy girlfriend and cool office space where Berlin's dad John works. Kim has agreed to be his campaign manager, if he will get some elevator shoes.

On a serious note: as Buttercup's mom pointed out, couldn't someone in the press have given us a heads up about Eliot Spitzer before we elected him governor? Apparently his overzealousness, bordering on meglomania and grandiosity (defined as boastful self-importance, ostentation, pomposity and pretension, an exaggerated sense of one's importance, power, knowledge or identity, larger-than-life feelings of superiority) was observed in many matters, and was well known by members of the press during his term as Attorney General, yet it was not widely reported. Why?

Buttercup returned to the run Saturday after her surgery to prevent an outbreak of little Buttercups. (Not that we'd really mind.) Rarely have we seen a puppy frolic with such abandon, as she raced around the run with Olive, Rusty, Hachiko, Lucy and others. Dogs really can teach us about joy. Joy for no reason, just being alive being enough.

Rags has sent this link where we learn about the ribcages and femurs scattered around our park and what to do with them, starring our own Claudia Schwab with appearances by Pat McKee, Jill mother of Ginger, and others:

http://nyc24.org/2008/issue2/story6/video.html

By the way, for those of you who are not squeamish, there is a link in the upper right hand corner of this website which shows in gruesome graphic detail how to stuff a mouse! Click on Taxidermy.


Don't forget that Jamie Leonhart is doing two shows at Joe's Pub on March 21st. Jamie also as a blog:

http://jamieleonhart.wordpress.com/

Speaking of music, L'il Miss Kim played Lincoln Center last week with Pink Martini.


Go Kim!

That's all I can do for today. See you in the run.

Sidney & Roberta

Dog Art

"Cold are the hands of time that creep along relentlessly, destroying slowly, but without pity, that which yesterday was young. Alone our memories resist this disintegration and grow more lovely with the passing years."

Preston Sturges

If you happen to be over in the East Village this week, don't miss the delightful show of dog related art at Mascot Studios 328 East Ninth. It features the work of Peter McCaffrey and runs through March 17th and might even be extended. They are open Tuesday through Sunday (usually) from 1 p.m. to 7 p.m. Call just in case 212-228-9090. After viewing the Dog Art, stop in to Fabulous Fanny across the street and look at hundreds of pairs of the coolest vintage glasses you will ever find. Donatella Versace is a regular.

If any of you were thinking of becoming businessmen with clients in China, think again. Apparently the customary business meals includes vast quantites of baijiu, a super strong kerosene flavored liquor, often served at breakfast, lunch and dinner. Dishes served might include: cow’s lung soaked in chili sauce, goose stomachs, fish lips with celery, goat’s feet tendons in wheat noodles, ox forehead, turtle casserole and, finally, deer’s penis. I don't know about you but I feel I've eaten just about all the fish lips with celery I need. Although ox forehead sounds intriguing.

And what about the dog run, you might well ask? Well, we saw the return of Dave and Meredith last with Jack and Bubba in tow. It was Jack's birthday and he'd celebrated the night before with a bevy of strippers and was pretty hung over, though happy. Dave and Meredith have abandoned their thoughts of "movin' on up" a la Sherman Helmsley and have decided to remain in the lush bohemian ghetto with the rest of us.

Jessica reports that our own Kim H. appeared this morning on E! News with Lindsay Lohan who attended Kim's L.A. pop-up store awhile back. Meanwhile Kim appeared Sunday at Lincoln Center playing triangle with Pink Martini!

My autobiography with my co-auto biographer Michael Musto about our lives as gangbangers and drug dealers in the 80s in South Central lost our publisher Simon & Shuster yesterday due to that other gal Marge Seltzer who actually LIED about her years in South Central and ruined everything for the authentic among us. Michael, who was the very first openly gay, Jewish Crip is particularly upset. We are turning in our Rottweilers and moving on. (Only Bloods have Pit Bulls.)

Movies to see: "Paranoid Park" by Gus van Sant, with the great cinematographer Christopher Doyle and "Contempt" by Jean Luc Godard, a classic with both Godard and Brigitte Bardot at their peaks, soon to be showing at the Film Forum. Neither is a "27 Dresses", but sometimes you gotta open your heart and mind for art.

Best to all!

Sidney & Roberta

Christina's Excellent Adventure

Christina reported back from the Women's Restroom at Washington Square Park. Never having visited said restroom before, she was worried, but armed with a fresh Kleenex supplied by myself, she fearlessly ventured out. When she did not return for several minutes Rags and I considered sending out a search party. However, Christina soon emerged and stated "It wasn't that bad."

Speaking of Kleenex, that commodity we all use, I received a message from Greenpeace which states:

Kimberly-Clark, the largest tissue maker in the world and parent company of Kleenex doesn't want you to know that Kleenex is made from 100% virgin fiber which has a devastating impact on ancient forests.

Greenpeace needs your help. Call Kimberely Clark at 800-553-3639 or 888-553-3639 and tell them that you will no longer buy Kleenex until it is made from soft, re-cycled material.

www.StopKleenex.com

Thank you.

Sidney & Roberta

A Post-Valentine World

February 27

Tuesday we saw a lot of faces we haven't seen for awhile. Hunter returned from the country, and Barbie's surgery happened 2 weeks ago and went well, though it sounded like an ordeal. John and Berlin were there after being away from the run for awhile, George showed up with Larry in tow, plus regulars Henry, Billie, Ajax and Ethan were there. A new 4 month old Golden Retriever puppy, Elsie put in an appearance. Wednesday was about the same. I saw Kim on the way over, but she was late for a meeting - she says hi to everyone.

I've been thinking about why I can't get 100% behind Obama and I think I've hit on it: he's just too thin. I mean Kennedy was kind of thin, but not like B.O. And what about those initials? Okay, so it's BHO but that still doesn't have that ring like JFK, IMO. Plus I'm old fashioned (and old) enough to want a president that's older than me - is that terrible? Not as old as John McCain, of course, I don't need the president to be a grandfather figure, but old-ER. I liked that Bill Clinton was "young" but he was still older than me, as is Hillary (HRC, just like the Health & Racquet Club). Now I know that Kim has this theory that young people know something, but the older I get, the less I believe it. But I'll give O. the benefit of the doubt for now.

What I think would be really cool is if Ob is elected (okay, Kim, when), would be to have a total African style inauguration, making dashikis, ceremonial robes, and that red & white outfit they showed Obama in this week (which by the way I think really would have worked on the red carpet Sunday night) required attire! Lots of drumming and maybe even some big pots filled with boiling Republicans. Of course the day after, everyone would calm down and go back to civilian clothes and customs but I think that would be just the kick in the pants people would need for 24 hours, to scare them a little and get them wondering if it wasn't all a dream. I spoke briefly to Michelle Obama about this and she didn't really warm to the idea, but oddly enough Hillary's people thought it would be a great idea - for Hillary to do if she wins. So it just shows, you never know who's going to embrace change.

Gotta run,

Roberta & Sidney

March 4th: A change we weren't aware of

The sun was creeping out Saturday morning but still only Anita, Christina, Rags and Larry made an appearancer. Henry made a new leap forward in his "ball relationship" (with the help of Rags). When his ball is pushed through the fence, Henry has learned that he can go outside and get it himself! Major.

When I was a child I had two nicknames, both bestowed on me by my sister Linda. One was The Grape, a reference to the lack of convolutions on my brain (Linda was The Plum. Her boyfriend Tom was the Prune - he had lots of convolutions, he claimed, indicating his high intelligence). The other nickname was The Creature From The Black Lagoon. after the 1954 film of the same name. Sadly, the 6'5" star of that film, Ben Chapman, an ex-Marine who had won both a silver and Bronze Star and two Purple Hearts in Korea, died last week at the age of 79. Chapman played the Creature, though if you see the film credits he is usually not mentioned as he only played the Creature on land, while Ricou Browning played the Creature underwater. Now I ask you, which is harderr: acting underwater or acting on land? Please. The film is quite touching, if it comes on late night t.v. (is there such a thing?) I recommend it.

Larry has sent me a brilliant videos, please watch:

Parody: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gwqEneBKUs

Original: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjXyqcx-mYY

Speaking of Larry, it turns out that due to all this racial and ethnic controversy of late, Trish and Larry decided to go for DNA testing. Sure enough, it turns out that while Trish is indeed an ASP, the W is in question. Seems there was a dollop of Africa in there (don't tell Trish's parents, please Bob). Frankly, I'm happy to hear that as the dog run can use a little "spice" (brown sugar, anyone?) and Trish is just the gal to add it.

I do suspect however, that this is testing business was just part of Larry's desperate attempt to expand the sorts of Art Fairs he's eligible for, plus I guess he figures it'll be a "in" at the White House come November. As it turns out he is still 100% White Male. Oh well, what can you do?

By the way, after dropping this bombshell, neither Larry or Trishaca (her African name) showed up today. Is George having a problem dealing with the revelation of his his mixed race parents?

Sunday was sunny and bright and the run was filled with Dexter, Tucker, Briscoe, Tina, Ethan, Safronella, Henry, Billie, Ruby plus new tiny Frenchie pup Bebe, and many more.

That's all for now, folks!

Sidney & Roberta

Valentine's Day Dog Run News

The recent dismal weather has significantly limited our visits to the run, but we finally got there today and found stalwarts Laura, Rags and Bree holding the fort with Billie, Henry and Blue. Blue had a "dingleberry incident" but a fast acting Bree solved it quickly and efficiently. Soon John and Berlin showed up and there was some ball throwing and a serious discussion of interior design between Rags and Laura, who just re-upholstered her Mid Century Modern chair in a shocking shade of chartreuse. We await the photo.

As we were leaving we ran into Ajax who is celebrating his first birthday today! Happy Birthday, Ajax!

There are two "official "websites which have information on the Washington Square Small Dog Run, in response to Heather's query on the blog. They are both Yahoo! groups:

http://pets.groups.yahoo.com/group/robinkovarysmall/

and

http://pets.groups.yahoo.com/group/smalldogsrule/


The Robin Kovary site has a discussion on the question "Does my dog know when I'm making "whoppie"? which I think is a misspelling of whoopee, a euphemism often used on The Newlywed Game, when the husband and wife tried to concur on how many times they made whoopee each week.

Whoopee appears in Webster's Collegiate Dictionary directly under Whoop-de-do, and is defined as "the feverish participation in alcohol-and-sex orgies first widely conspicuous during the U.S. Prohibition era." Who knew? Wow, you take away alcohol and suddenly, what do you get? Whoopee.

When I get Electric Dave's address from Natt, I will contact Dave and find out how we can all find out about volunteering at the run, contributing financially, etc.

The 12th Annual National Black Fine Arts show continues through the weekend at the Puck Building. No white males were included. There is some outsider art included. Can't wait for Larry to weigh in on this! Admission is $15. Hours are noon to 8 p.m. One nice thing, there is a cafe with food, so you can sit down over a cup of coffee with your friends and discuss why Larry isn't included in the show.


New restaurants, anyone? Two places on my block, St, Marks Place between 2nd & 3rd, just closed, Famous Falafel at 32 St. marks and Cafe Fuego, a Cuban Place at #9. A Pinkberry is set to open because apparently two frozen yogurt places on one block aren't enough. I know most of you are West Villagers but here is an article on the changing scene on my block:

http://www.nysun.com/article/65266

Funny thing, it was written 3 months ago and already there have been many changes. The former Good Dog hotdog place has changed into Spot's Cafe. Here is Sidney with the actual Good Dog mascot:



A new place at 86 East 7th Street, Abraco, got some great reviews in the NY Times and New York magazine, which describes it as a "coffee bar-cum-tapas bar cum pastry shop, the first of it's kind in New York City. The coffee drinks are uniformly excellent, as are light bites like a toothsome grilled cheese and a moist olive oil cake." What does toothsome mean? Delicious, attractive, luscious. So now you know.

As for movies, I have been a stay at home and enjoying lots of Cary Grant and Irene Dunne movies on AMC. I would imagine Jessica will be going to "Defintely Maybe" to save the rest of us the trouble. Being too young to remember Irene Dunne, she will undoubtedly enjoy it. If anyone with HBO would be so kind as to tape "Doris & Bernard" for me, I would be grateful.

Ciao, babies.

Roberta & Sidney

Cute Guy in Blue

taken by Roberta .. one random day

Hip Hop For Dogs

The sister of Anita (Buddy's owner) is working on a second book, Hip Hop for Dogs. (her last one, which everyone liked a lot was "Yiddish For Dogs". If you remember, Buddy appeared in a photo in that book.)

If you’d like to be included please email Janet Perr to make arrangements. She’s on a short timeline so might want to email soon.

Dogs of all races and religious creeds can apply, not just black dogs. (Think Eminem, think Fergie.)

Cheers!

Roberta & Sidney

[ note from Christina - I didn't post Janet's email directly on the blog, as I do not want her to be the victim of more SPAM, Roberta sent Janet's contact info 2/8]

Controversy with a Capitol K

Due to another editorial error, we have once again mis-identified the ethnicity of Trish, of Trish, Larry & George. Trish is in fact a WASP. As Larry says "if Trish's family were anymore waspy, they wouldn't be able to walk". (Not sure I get the reference - does it mean they would be flying? As wasps do?) You know, if Trish wore her twinset and pearls, headband and penny loafers to the dog run, things would be a lot easier for me. But no, she "disguises" her ethnicity and tries to "blend in". And because I foolishly made the assumption that people usually go with their Own Kind, I erred once again.

Larry goes on to attempt to straighten me out: " As it stands: Bob, myself and Rags are Jewish, oh, and so is Kim and Jessica, Doug is converting, he's hesitating because Bob is supposed to do the circumcision but he already gave up bacon."

I guess Larry feels comfortable "outing" his tribe without fully doing his research. As a matter of fact Rags is a WASH, White Anglo Saxon Hebrew, Larry. Is giving up bacon the first step towards conversion? Tell that to Liz Taylor. And I still think Kim is Norwiegen.

Anyway, I was up all night trying to find a solution to this labeling business, and how Dog Run News could avoid such mistakes in the future. I thought of armbands, brightly colored letters sewn onto outerwear, tattoos, but it all seemed so...done already.

And then as I was surfing the world wide web, I came upon a small company in Lithuania that makes a portable microchip installer that retails for $29.95 plus shipping and handling. It's slightly larger than an electric toothbrush, and works kind of like that air gun that Javier Bardem uses in "No Country For Old Men". But it's more gentle than that, I mean you hardly even feel it. In one press of the trigger, I mean button, you have a fully installed microchip which tells your ethnicity, sexual orientation, and food allergies. With the aid of a small transmitter that I will have next to my computer, I can check anyones information quickly and accurately.

Hey, I'm willing to pay for it, if you guys will let me install the chips. We can do it right at the dog run. And you know what's cool about it? If you change your religion, like Sammy Davis Jr., Elizabeth Taylor and Tom Cruise did, or let's say you wake up one day and are attracted to members of the opposite sex instead of your own, or say you have your DNA tested and find out you're 1/16 American Indian, all you have to do is give me the updated info and I can change it by remote control! Totally modern. I ordered one. It takes 4 to 6 weeks for delivery, so everyone please try to pin down your facts by then.

By the way, if anyone is interested in DOGS, you can go to Yvonne's Website Woof Patrol



That's all folks, I gotta get some rest!

Roberta & Sidney

Dr. Bob Steps Out

Dog Run News sent the intrepid reporting team of Larry & Trish on a mission. Their goal? Recreate for us New Yorkers what it is, what it once was for all of us, to be in the presence of our beloved Dr. Bob.

Bob showed up at Trish's father's home in Pennsylvania at 5:30, provocatively dressed in grey flannel and a button down collar shirt, with pointy half boots from Barneys! (Ken, eat your heart out.)

Trish's Irish family warmed to Bob immediately, as he regaled them with stories of his work helping addicts, but also with his humorous anecdotes about his experiences as the quintessential New Yorker in the hinterlands.

[Editor's note: I am using Larry's descriptions, and words, only editing for tone. On my own I could never spell quintessential or think of the word hinterlands. I would have used the offensive "sticks".]

Here, from Larry directly, only edited for punctuation:

"We went out to dinner with her (Trish's) father, two step brothers and one wife to "Conner's" (carefully chosen by Trish and myself as the best food in the area since the Club was closed.) (We would have chosen the Club were it open but just for atmosphere). Bob ordered a sirloin of pork which they were out of and settled on a steak. Although slightly overcooked he pronounced the meal the best he had had since coming to Pennsylvania. "

I consider that a success!

On the political front, we all have a difficult choice ahead of us tomorrow. One editorial that addresses health care reform was published in the New York Times today:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/04/opinion/04krugman.html?_r=1&th&emc=th&oref=slogin

Hey, we love Obama, we love his anti-war position, we love his vision, we love his rhetoric. We love that Maria turned on Arnold. Kim's Obama benefit raised $60K for the man just last week. But on health care, I think he needs to re-think, although unfortunately, because he has chosen to demonize mandated health care, he may have made a decision he cannot fix. This issue doesn't affect everyone right now, maybe your job supplies health care. But ultimately this is an important issue for everyone and it is something to think about.

I don't know how I will vote tomorrow.

Don't forget to vote!

Sidney & Roberta

Dog Run News Ground Hog Day 2008

As the weather warms up ever so slightly, we're seeing a better turn out at the run. A Big Celebrity even showed up today, the beautiful indie actress Parker Posey, with her little white dog, Gracie. Everyone pretended they didn't know who she was. Well, actually, most people DIDN'T know who she was. Okay, if you're so smart, quickly name three of her films. See?

The Academy Awards are coming up, and we may have a pool. $1.00 to enter, one ballot only and the entrant (is that a word?) with the closest accuracy takes the pool. Top categories only. (I am checking with Mayor Bloomberg to make sure this is legal.) And yes, Bob we will accept absentee ballots.

While we're talking Hollywood, Rags reports that he once "saw Daniel Day-Lewis naked". And it wasn't in a movie, it was in Real Life. No, not at a bath house, kids, at a GYM. A regular old non-sexually discriminating, no sex even legally allowed, gym. Despite having played a gay man before Heath Ledger was even old enough to legally have a beer (remember our Danny boy breaking taboos in "My Beautiful Launderette"?) we believe Mr. Day-Lewis, despite having a hyphenated last name, despite being British, despite being beautiful, is as straight as the line from Sidney to a piece of lamb's lung. (Not that there's anything wrong with it.)

And, according to Rags, yes, it was real, and yes, it was spectacular.

On the religious front, I have uncovered evidence that the Church of Scientology has turned John Travolta into a DOG. Here he is rehearsing for an upcoming "Grease" 30th Anniversary tribute with Olivia Newton John:

Click to Watch John Travolta

Didn't you read that Angela Cartwright (voice of Bart Simpson on The Simpsons) just gave 10 million dollars to the Church of Scientology? Obviously, that was so they wouldn't turn HER into a dog. Wow, what a wacky religion. I wonder who she's supporting for President.

My friend Bobby Pinn is featured in tomorrow's Sunday Times travel section. He has an East Village Rock & Roll Walking Tour you can go on for $29. I actually give the same tour but mine costs a LOT more. I'm like the Linda Evangelista of Walking Tour Guides, and I don't even THINK of getting out of bed for less than $10,000. But hey, that's me. Bobby's tour is very popular, I see him on my block several times a week with a gaggle of tourists.

Beth, mother of Dugan, who sent me the John Travolta link, also gives us this total time-waster:

Click to Play Hangman

I scored 75 on my first two games. I think that makes me slightly smarter than a 5th grader, but only just.

The Saturday Times had a big article about the dogs rescued from Michael Vicks dog fighting ranch. Vicks had to pay nearly a million dollars towards the rehabilitation of the dogs and they were all adopted by rescue places, except one that had to be put down. One of the rehab centers is Dogtown which is featured on the National Geographic Channel (channel 65 on Time Warner) after the Dog Whisperer. The article is pretty inspirational. Would that Veronica Cartwright had donated her 10 million to Dogtown, then she could rest assured that even if Scientology did turn her into a dog, she could find a welcoming home there. Some people just don't think things through.

Barbara, Tucker's mom, alerts us to the existence of Pandora.com which provides unlimited FREE music of many types, so check that out if you like music.

While the most famous Ground Hog, Punxsutawney Phil, saw his shadow and predicts 6 more weeks of winter, apparently there's a Staten Island Ground Hog who is blind and saw nothing. So I'm going with him.

Let's all get ready for Christina's Super Bowl Party tomorrow, all you can eat and drink from noon on. It's being held at Pier 42. Here's a little tape of the little bash Chrissie threw on St. Patrick's Day last year. People are still talking about it.

Click to Watch Video of Last Year's Party

That's all folks. See you at the run.

Roberta & Sidney

Dog Run News

by, Roberta Bayley

Sunday night I saw the perfect acceptance speech at the SAG Awards from my new heart throb Javier Bardem. He looked great, spoke clearly, and remembered to thank his fellow nominees - almost no one else did! If Javier and Penelope Cruz decide to procreate, it will be the greatest gene pool since Catherine Deneuve and Marcello Mastroianni spawned Chiara.
Larry would like to register a formal complaint regarding the term Outsider Art. The concept is one of his pet peeves. "I mean, what does it mean?" he fumed, "That you're not a white male? Don't get me wrong", he continued, "I love folk art, I think that it's great, but why do they have to call it Outsider Art? Just because a black person did it? I don't get it." [Disclosure: Larry is a white male.]

The New York Times is on Larry's side (I think). "Some people think the label 'outsider artist' should be retired", wrote Ken Johnson on Friday. "Why does it matter whether an artist is self-taught, mentally impaired or deranged? Perhaps there should be an independent agency to certify artists as authentic outsiders." Larry will undoubtedly not have time to be a part of that agency - maybe as a consultant? And where does Kim stand on all this? We know she collects outsider art, but then let's be honest, she collects all of her friend's art and the vast majority of them would certainly qualify as deranged. It's a complex issue, and one we will explore more deeply. Maybe in 2009.

While I am working with the scientists on "I Can't Believe It's not Tuna!", some of you have been asking "Well, what fish can I safely eat?" Here a simple link on the subject:

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/05/31/dining/31fbox.html
That list is based on which fish are healthy to eat. As far as which fish are environmentally sound to eat (i.e. not over-fished or in danger of extinction), you will need another list:

http://www.environmentaldefense.org/page.cfm?tagID=1521
Here is a chart telling you how often it is safe to eat environmentally sound fish:

http://www.environmentaldefense.org/page.cfm?tagID=17694
I think the trick is to find a few fish you enjoy eating and stick with them. Confession: I had a tuna sandwich yesterday.

Doug and Narelle have progressed in their battle against jet lag and Return From Paradise Syndrome and are waking up at 9:45 instead of 2:30. Perhaps if they master Mapquest, they may even find the new Dog Run one day. Doug weighs in on "Diving Bell & The Butterflyl" a film both Kim and I thought was wonderful, if a tad dark:

we saw "the diving bell" yesterday. that's pretty extraordinary. amazing imagery, colours, and textures. the way it's been shot with ultra shallow depth of field from his p.o.v contrasted with vast tableaux for the outdoor shots should win the d.p an oscar. the acting by almaric and the girls is excellent, and the story very very deftly handled by julian schnabel (considering basquiat). best film of the year hands down. glad that i saw it because it's really much better and tighter than oscar faves "there will be blood" or "no country" which will no doubt win everything by default. daniel day lewis possibly the exception.

That's all for today, my friends. Be well.
Sidney & Roberta

Dog Run News: Hello Strangers!

by, Roberta Bayley

Some of our phantom Dog Run people have resurfaced, though they will still not be immediately visible. Doug and Narelle have returned from Australia They are having a hard time adjusting to the cold temperature and from jet lag and. Doug describes their adventures down under thusly:

tree house living in the daintree rainforest,
swimming with dolphins, diving off the barrier reef,
or feeding the flocks of parrots and cockatoos in
narelle's parents's yard......you get the idea.

No wonder the bleakness of New York winter is a hard adjustment! He gives us his take on the film "Savages" with Laura Linney & PSH (no, not a feminine hygiene product - the actor!)

quite depressing, though at times
disarmingly funny story about facing old age and
death. phillip seymour hoffman's always worth a watch
but i couldn't recommend it without feeling a little
sadistic!

Jessica, never one to fear a charge of sadism, highly recommends "Savages". She also highly recommends "4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days" while cautioning it is not for the faint of heart in it's grim depiction of an illegal abortion in 1987 Romania.

Everyone (Doug, Rags, James, Jessica, Bruce, etc.) seems to have seen "There Will Be Blood" but no one has yet to give it a whole hearted recommendation. While Daniel Day Lewis is commended for his performance, most people thought it was just too long, with a lackluster finish. Rags is hoping they will bring out shorter version on DVD.

Now from our other missing in action drama critic, Dr Bob, from Pennsylvania. Here are his two reviews:

SWEENEY TODD
It has been my experience that three-ways rarely work out. [Ed. note: Tell me about it.] This is one
time, when one does. The mating of Sondheim, Burton and Depp is perfect. And at the very least, and at last, this masterpiece of writing-has made it to the screen.,

THE ORPHANAGE
This is basically a good B movie with incredible acting, terrific locales, and really snazzy direction. It is more intelligent than Poltergeist or The Others. It is a tale well told. And who doesn't enjoy a good ghost story?

Apparently there are few free-walking dogs where Bob and Waldo are living. Though they have heard dogs barking, they rarely see any. Nonetheless, Waldo is enjoying himself, and Bob is finding his fellowship to be rewarding in many ways. The food in the area, however, leaves much to be desired. We are sending Larry and Trish to Pennsylvania with a care package.

Meanwhile I am working with some scientists I met yesterday, to create a synthetic raw mercury free tuna product. It will be called "I Can't Believe It's Not Tuna!" and should be in stores in 2009.

Rudy Giuliani's campaign seems to be fizzling, that should cheer some of us up. Today the eight page Police Dept. memorandum written in 1998 was released, giving many detailed reasons why putting The Emergency Command Center in 7 World Trade Center was a really bad idea. But Rudy wanted to be able to walk there from City Hall. Oops.

Here is a good site if you want to stop getting all those catalogues in the mail: http://catalogchoice.org

It's free. You just register and enter which catalogues you would prefer not to receive, and they cancel them for you.

If you have a chance visit the Outsider Art Fair 2008 in the puck Building today & tomorrow, 11 to 7. It will make clear to you that art by criminals, perverts and the mentally challenged (I guess that includes all of us) is more interesting than "real" art.

That's all folks!

Roberta & Sidney

Dog Run News: The Return of Bruce

by, Roberta Bayley

Not Doug Bruce (we still have that to look forward to) but Bruce McV, father of Sophie and Lily, husband of Carol. Bruce has been travelling in the cities of Prague and Budapest. He did not encounter any lice, though the "young people" of the hostels seemed to view his somewhat grizzled appearance as scary, so he soon shaved off his beard and regained the vigorous handsomeness we have come to expect (except when he's playing a psycho on "Law & Order"). Bruce preferred Budapest to Prague, saying that while both cities are beautiful, Budapest had a run down grittiness reminiscent of 80s New York - lots of smoking, drinking and people bustling in the streets. Bruce attended a few bath houses, some very old, but as soon as he witnessed some man on man sexual activity, he fled, unscathed. (Not that there's anything wrong with it.)

We continue to be saddened by the passing of Heath Ledger, especially so soon after the death of Brad Renfrow. They say these things come in threes, but I am hoping Suzanne Pleschette's passing was number two. Not to say we were not fans of the gravel voiced actress, au contraire. It's just that she had lived a long life, and had even outlived both of her husbands, and even had time to write her own eulogy! "Rome Adventure" was a favorite in my pre-teen years, with the song "Al Di La" I am right back there. I'd forgotten that she married to her co-star in that film, Troy Donahue. And then had a late in life marriage to old beau Tom Poston. And of course her role as Annie in "The Birds" (my parrot's all time favorite film) can never be forgotten. Good-bye funny lady, good bye, handsome young men.

The alarms regarding mercury levels in tuna continues after a New York Times front page story about high levels of mercury in many New York sushi restaurants, even Nobu and other high end spots. Please limit your tuna intake to once a week or less, if possible.

Jessica (Briscoe's mom) gives us the lowdown on two current films:

Cassandra's Dream: A poor man's "Before The Devil
Knows You're Dead". Come to think of it, a poor man's
"Match Point". So no reason why Woody redid what
worked so well the first time. Having said that,
Colin Farrell, who I never thought twice about, was
quite good and I would love to see him in something
great.

[Editors note: Larry also reported being "underwhelmed" by this film.]

27 Dresses: Inane, and I LOVED every minute of it.
Give me a good outfit changing montage and expensive
NYC real estate that an assistant seems to be able to
afford and I am in heaven.

[This is why Jessica's opinions are so useful. You can tell from her "rave" whether it's for you or not. Or whether you wait till it's on free cable].

We have asked Dr. Bob to give us his opinions on recent films also, and are hoping for a Siskel and Ebert teaming of Bob with Jessica.

Fashion fans, don't miss Kim's blog http://papermag.com/blogs/fashion_schmashion/

I've already written a letter to John Galliano asking him to design uniforms for Washington Square Parks Department!

Lindsay Lohan will be on the cover of PAPER soon - see a behind the scenes shot here:

http://www.papermag.com/blogs/mr_mickey/

She's so pretty it should be illegal.

That's all for now, folks!

Roberta & Sidney

Dog Run News: Tuesday

by, Roberta Bayley

There have been several complaints that there is a serious lack of A-
list dogs at the run of late (You KNOW who you are!) While the chilly
weather and winter vacations may account for some absences, and the
new run is not to everyone's taste, and the journey for some is
longer, please, when weather permits, do show up! We miss you.
Besides, who can we get our movie reviews from, Jessica? And Isaac
Mizrahi has left Target! We're dying to get the inside, Kim.

Bruce has gone on an adventure to Prague and Budapest. We can't wait
to hear his report of his journey. We are hoping he did not get lice
in the youth hostel.

Gizzies Coffee attempted to bring caffeine to the dog run but he
appears to have given up after two days. The general feeling was he
did not market himself correctly. Such is life.

ALERT: Ajax's wart finally fell off without medical intervention. We
held a small champagne toast in his honor (well, Sidney and I did
anyway.)

Our own Jamie Leonhart was featured in a lovely photograph in the New
York Times, singing back up for a singer (who's name escapes me,
sorry) who has a show of all Laura Nyro covers. The show got an
excellent review from Stephen Holden.

Sadly, we learned today that Brad Renfro, the charming 12 year old
who starred with Susan Sarandon and Tommy Lee Jones in "The Client",
died yesterday at the age of 25. Foul play was not suspected. Renfro
had struggled with drug addiction.

Hero of the Week: Wesley Snipes. The "Blade" actor who has made 38
million dollars since 1997, and has not paid taxes since 1999, is
suing the U.S. government. He claims that he wasn't aware that he was
required to pay income taxes. Go Wesley!

Tooting My Own Horn Dept. : My letter supporting the Park renovation
was published in The Villager. The Park Renovation people called me
at home to thank me! They will keep me updated on all developments.
They seem to be working hard to please us, the Dog Run people.

That's all folks - you obviously haven't missed much!

Roberta and Sidney

The Miracle of the Mounds

by Roberta Bayley,


Today we lucky few witnessed a Miracle. As Larry and George were leaving the run, they noticed a small dog playing on the Mounds near a pile of dirt. As there was a hole in the fence, George ran in and began to play. Hachiko and Christina approached and followed Sidney and I into the Mounds. Then the miracle happened:

Sidney ran.

Yes, it's true. She ran up the Mounds and down the Mounds, with George and Hachiko in hot pursuit.

We stood at the top of the Mounds in the golden sunlight , gazed down on the drug dealers plying their trade, and came to understand the Mounds in a new way. And we vowed to save them. We are saying something we thought we would never say:

Save the Mounds!

Roberta & Sidney