Sodomy at the Dog Run - No one is safe

Yes, it's true. Little Ethan Schwab, well dressed (yet never provocatively so), only son of Claudia, was brutally sodomized Saturday by an unknown black and white canine assailant. Ms. Scwhab stepped in immediately to stop the attack, but it was too late. Luckily Ethan was more shaken than stirred, no obvious penetration occurred (although Bacitracin was applied to the appropriate area), and Sunday he seemed to be in good spirits.

Meanwhile we have some excellent high end FREE entertainment coming up this week in the form of memorial services for two iconic New Yorkers. The William F. Buckley Memorial at St,. Patricks Cathedral

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/06/nyregion/06buckley.html?_r=1&ref=media&oref=slogin

and the Norman Mailer Memorial at Carnegie Hall

http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2008/03/28/arts/NA-A-E-BKS-US-Norman-Mailer-Memorial.php

Both are open to the public, though for Mr. Mailer's you must stand in line for tickets, presumably because the former Mr. Madonna, drunken beater of photographers and informal and unwanted U.S. Ambassador to the Middle East will be speaking. Along with (oh, wow) Tina Brown. The host? Charlie Rose. I guess Legs McNeil was unavailable.

Hold me back. Dullsville Incorporated.

Now I met Mr. Mailer some years ago (1979 to be precise) at his home in Brooklyn heights and took his photograph (which I have yet to make a dime on) and I have to say, he seemed to be somewhat of a zombie (that happens when you foolishly give up alcohol in your 70s - why bother?) However, he did go onto write several very long books, I think one was about Egypt and another about God (or maybe it was Hitler?) which I challenge any of you to say you have read. (I'm not talking about your having read the review in the New York Times Book Review, I'm talking about the actual BOOK. Even I almost finished reading the reviews.) I tried reading the Gary Gilmore book in the 70s, couldn't finish it. "Bonfire of the Vanities"? Same. I know, Mailer didn't write that, but I think you see my point.

Mr. Buckley, on the other hand, while I did not agree with his enthusiasm for bringing back slavery (think about it, did he ever say WHO would be the slaves? Did he? Case closed) or that women should be thankful they got the vote and be done with the rest of all that liberation stuff (and to his credit look where it's gotten us), it's true that Mr. Bill gave us many hours of entertainment on his television show. He was entertaining even when we did not agree with him, beguiling in an elegant, reptilian sort of way. And with Big Words. Now, That's Entertainment. Unlike Bill O'Reilly and his ilk who are just bullies and bores. I definitely do think Billy's Memorial will be the more entertaining memorial of the two. You don't have to wait in line for tickets and you won't be worried than Sean Penn might mistake you for an 80s pop star and marry you (he is single now you know) or for a photographer and knock your block off.

See you at St. Pat's. Even Jesus might be there.

Peace, Love and Bathroom Renovation,

Sidney & Roberta